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Loss

Loss. You experience it all through your life, in various forms, and in different degrees of pain. Sometimes, loss is a lesson, and then maybe it's really not a loss, but just a gentle reminder that you need to make room for something wonderful to come and build home in your little nest. But you know when we lose people, especially the ones we voluntarily let go of maybe just because we no longer feel the need to invest in another being, maybe because we have better alternatives, or just because we lack the energy to foster our fondness for someone, it just makes me realize how little we value life.
Ask someone who has had a loved one literally snatched away from the palm of their hands, they'll tell you what loss really is. It's like the wheel of life turning back on you, and you've no option but to hold on to whatever little you've got. Ask a mother who has lost her child, she'd tell you how many things she would've done differently if she'd get one last shot at seeing her child again. And that considering, that nobody in this gigantic universe will ever love you with the kind of sincerity that your mother does, really speaks volumes about the kind of colossal damage loss can do. She'll learn to cope in a few years, but you know she'll be just this close to a nervous breakdown every single time she sees something that reminds her of her child. Real loss, it doesn't ever leave you, it's an open wound masked as a scar and it'll tear you down just when you think you've healed. And somewhere deep down, we all know this. I don't know how we keep forgetting, and how we just casually let go of those we love. I don't know why we need something really bad to happen to see things for what they're really like.
We manage to fail each other time and again, without the slightest of remorse. We make excuses, like we just grew apart, or that it wasn't working out; these are all just modern day abbreviations for our incapability to love limitlessly, without fear and anguish and actually do something about it. Or maybe we just have no real understanding anymore of how value translates into love, and how growing apart shouldn't be an option. We've given ourselves choices for the sake of convenience, Funny how we can work 14 hours a day for money, and not spare one minute to cherish someone we love. Maybe now, setting our priorities straight only means building a foundation for regrets. Or maybe we'll learn. Maybe soon enough. Maybe a little late. Or not at all.

Happy or sad?

I've been thinking. Doesn't this sound very sad? That you'll never get back the amount of love you give? Sounds like a really bad deal right? But maybe it's not. Maybe it makes you powerful, more capable of making someone feel something, than they'll ever be able to make you feel. It almost makes you invincible, like don't we take pride in being better than people at something? Why can't we take pride in this? You're more capable of making people feel worthy and beautiful and glad to be alive, I don't know why to be ashamed of that and or why that should make me feel sorry for myself. I can't apologize for my courage, or my faith, for you love to give, not for what it gives you back.

Someone